3). Pick one concept from
the reading this week and discuss it in detail. Be
sure to relate the concept/idea to your personally by using examples from your
life and/or experiences.
To answer this question, I decided to discuss the confrontation
avoidance cycle. This type of behavior is associated with people who generally
try to avoid conflict. I don’t have a problem with conflict. However, I have
learned that in certain situations, conflict is best to just be avoided. When I
find myself in a situation in which I am forced or feel compelled to confront
certain people, I generally feel nervous about confrontation and feel that it
will be unproductive.
More specifically, I have experienced what is described in
the confrontation avoidance cycle with members of my immediate family. My
parents have been going through a divorce for the past few years, and although
we are all now adults, my siblings and I have been forced to reconcile some of
the realities surrounding our childhoods and the ways in which we were raised.
This is a subject that I would rather avoid discussing with either of my parents
because in these types of conversations people become defensive and feelings
can be hurt easily. Although I attempt to avoid these kinds of conversations,
when they do occur, they are often handled poorly. This leaves everyone
involved with a sour taste in their mouths about the discussion and results in
more negative feelings.
Hi chatter box, I really liked reading your response this week. I think it was really great how you discussed something very personal in your life. You chose to discuss confrontation avoidance cycle. A couple of my family members have a tendency for this cycle. While it is best to try to avoid confrontation, I think that in certain situations, it is necessary and healthy. You stated how it is difficult to discuss the divorce of your parents because some become defensive, and, it is just not a very pleasant topic. I can understand how this could be a sensitive subject, and how the confrontation avoidance cycle can come into play.
ReplyDeleteI really like your post and agree with your statements. When I think avoidance conflict behavior, I always think of the phrase "pick your battles". I think there are certain conflicts that arise that really are not worth arguing over or making a big deal of. For example, if my boss tells me I have to get up and be at the studio at 7am for extra training, I'm not going to sit there are argue that I don't want to get up. I am going to do what needs to be done because it's my job. Furthermore, if my boyfriend and I have different ideas of what we want to do that day, I may just be accommodating and let him decide because it's not worth ruining a day because I couldn't get exactly what I wanted. I really think it's about being flexible. We have to have discernment to choose which confrontations are worth addressing and resolving and which ones are best to be forgotten.
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