Chapter Ten: Post Two

2). After reading Chapter 10 in its entirety, answer the following question:  Is there an event in your life that you find difficult to forgive?  What is it?  What makes it so difficult to forgive the other person?  If you are not experiencing a difficult event now, describe a past event that you have found difficult to forgive.

There are a few events that have occured in my life that I find difficult to forgive. I would argue that the most difficult people to forgive are the ones that we care the most about; the people that we trust unconditionally. For me in my life, these people have been the one's who have remained constants in my life when it seemed that everyone else had failed or betrayed our realtionship in some fashion. In the past few years, I have experienced all three of the people that I trust the most betraying that trust. Two were in relationships, and one was with my mother. I find that all three of these situations are too involved and too personal to discuss in a public blog. However, I can say that I have yet to forgive any of them for the things that they have done, and this is something that I am actively working on.

Chapter Nine: Post One

1). After reading Chapter 9 in its entirety, answer the following question:  If you are a member of a social networking website such as Facebook, think about the way you use it.  How do you present yourself?  What impressions do you hope people will get from reading your profile?  Have there been times people have posted something to your profile that you wished they hadn't?  How does this relate to conflict and communication?

Even though I am not very interested in most of the social networking techonolgy that seems to be very popular these days, I do have a facebook which I created quite a few years ago. At first, I created the facebook just to see what the site was all about and to connect with my friends; it seemed at the time, that everyone was doing it (which in fact, they were). Now, I don't use it. I never change my profile picture, add pictures, respond to comments, or comment on other people's pages. I don't have a specific impression that I'm am trying to convery on facebook, as I hope that everyone who is on my facebook, already knows me. No one has ever posted anything to my profile that I wished that tey hadn't. However, I have seen many things posted on other peoples' facebooks that I would never want on my own.

The entire structure of facebook and the meanings behind the things people post and how they conduct themselves online really does relate to conflict and communication. Many people on these sites are seeking to be accepted, which is an idea that is expressed in our text as 'positive face.' Ironically, facework (which is strikingly similar to the name 'Facebook' itself), is a process in which people try to control the impressions that others have of them while at the same time, managing what others are saying about them. Conflict can occur online just as in face-to-face situations and unfortunately, the way that you present and conduct yourself online can affect not only how other's view you, but can be a derminant in your social status as well.

Chapter Seven: Post Three

3). Pick one concept or idea from this week's assigned reading and discuss it.  Be sure to relate the concept/idea to your personally by using examples from your life and/or experiences.

To address this question, I decided to discuss hyperstress. Reading about this concept almost made me laugh because even right this moment, I am experiencing hyperstress, which occurs when we are overloaded with so many responsibilities that we are unable to keep up with them all. In my life, the major contributors to my hyperstess are school, my house, and my day-to-day responsibilities as a parent. After I finish this post, I have many other chores waiting for my attention. One of the positive feature of hyperstess is that it goes away after the causes have been eliminated.  I often feel immediate relief after I have accomplished all of the responsibilities that I have for any given period of time. Unfortunately, it is usually short-lived. That being said, I have also experienced overblown conflict and have over-reacted to conflicts in the past. Luckily, I am always conscious of the fact that I am over-reacting because I am stressed out, which helps me to retain a more grounded perspective.

Chapter Eight: Post Two

2). After reading Chapter 8 in its entirety, answer the following question:  Are you a person who tends to blow up, do you express your anger calmly, or do you simply not express it at all?  What are the outcomes of expressing anger in this way?

I think that when I become angry, I usually express my anger calmly usually by talking. I actually don’t really get angry very easily as I find that I have a lot of patience for most things. If I ever do “blow up” I think that that period of expression is extremely short and I can pull myself back in easily. When I am very angry, I generally remove myself from a situation so that I can think more clearly and not say or do something that I don’t really mean. Because of the way that I handle my own anger, I generally don’t find myself in really hostile arguments and I can often talk-out my frustrations with the person I am in conflict with or someone else who will understand the situation. Sometimes I find that a passive-aggressive approach to anger works well also, as in a situation where you don’t really have a reason to complain, or when you are angry about something that you can’t control. In this type of situation, I usually talk to a friend about the issue until I feel that I can resolve it for myself.

Chapter Seven: Post One

1). After reading Chapter 7 in its entirety, answer the following question:  Look at your work and school commitments.  How might you apply each of the "three solutions" to improve how you feel about your job and school?

I believe that I already try to apply the three solutions to different aspects of my daily life. However, I am choosing to focus only on one aspect of my life to answer this question as I feel that it incorporates all of these strategies.  On a day-to-day basis, I have no shortage of responsibilities and I really lose sight of doing things for myself. To apply the first solution, I sometimes go on walks with my daughter to the grocery store. I also watch televisions after she goes to sleep as it is one of the few ways that I can insight my brain 'shut off.' As far as the second solution goes, if you don't have a playful and lighthearted attitude when you have a three-year-old, you're going to have a really rough time. I've learned to find humor in things like "my child emptied the entire box of cheerios emptied onto the kitchen floor." I also try to make my responsibilities fun learning activities for my daughter by allowing her to help cook, clean, etc. I also can fully appreciate the idea that with the good, comes the bad. Raising children is the most difficult job, but it is also the most rewarding. There is no responsibility that is so great that it outweighs the benefits of being with your kids.

Chapter Six: Post Three

3). Pick one concept or idea from this week's assigned reading and discuss it.  Be sure to relate the concept/idea to your personally by using examples from your life and/or experiences.

As basic as this concept seems, I wanted to talk about cooperation in this post. I like the definition that our textbook offers for cooperation and I think that we seldom think of cooperation as the act of considering the outcome of a conflict in considering an interpersonal relationship above our own needs. When reading through this section, I thought of my daughter. I feel that I have really emphasized cooperation as a vital problem-solving technique. For example, my daughter loves to color, but she is a perfectionist. Because her expectations for her drawing sometimes outweigh her physical capabilities, she can become frustrated easily. As a result, she wants new paper. In my reluctance to use up another ream of printer paper, I take the time to help her ‘reimagine’ her drawing. What she intended to be a rectangle, turned out to be a little more lopsided than she was anticipating for it to be. Thus, I help her to envision something different for her drawing, and instead, she ends up with a ‘turtle shell’ and I help her to turn her lopsided rectangle into a turtle. Both of us are satisfied with an outcome such as this and while abstract in its delivery, I hope that I am teaching her to be open to other people’s ideas and that working together to solve a problem can be beneficial for everyone involved.

Chapter Six: Post Two

2). After reading Chapter 6 in its entirety, answer the following question:  How does it feel when you are in an unbalanced power relationship?  What is it like to have more power?  Less power?

I believe that being in an unbalanced power relationship is a normal part of life. We are surrounded by an imbalance of power nearly everywhere will be in our lives, be it with our families, at our jobs, with our friends, or in relationships. While ideally everyone would have equal power in relationships, this is just not feasible, nor would it necessarily be a good thing. Sometimes feeling like you have more power can be a good thing. However, with more power also comes more responsibility. Being in a relationship in which you have less power can also be a positive and a negative experience. For example, when you are a child, having less power can sometimes be beneficial in that your parents take on many of your responsibilities that are difficult for you to do on your own. Negatively, this also limits your control in what decisions are made on your behalf. Less power can also be negative in relationships and employee/employer relationships in which one person is feeling subordinated or taken advantage of. Ultimately, these balances (or unbalances) of power are something that we have to get used to working with, because essentially, they are all over the place.

Chapter Six: Post One

1). After reading Chapter 6 in its entirety, answer the following question:  When have you ever lost trust in someone?  How did you react to the loss of trust?  How was the trust restored?

I’m sure that in the past I have lost trust in many people for a number of different reasons. However, I never acquired any emotional residues from these breaches of trust (at least for very long) because I was always told by my mother that the only person that I could ever truly trust was her. I’m guessing that this advice probably came from her own experiences with loyalty surrounding other people in her life. Until my mother betrayed my trust, I would have trusted her with anything. I don’t exactly want to get into the semantics of what happened because it was very personal. However, I will say that there was an obvious breach of trust which presented itself in the form of a lie. I felt very betrayed when I realized what had happened and I felt that protecting herself outweighed her commitment to me to be someone that I could always trust. My trust in her has never been fully restored. While she is still my mother and there are things that I am forced to entrust to her, I am often worried that she will break what little trust I have left, again.