Post Three

I really feel that I was able to learn a lot throughout this semester. When I first began this class, I was very unsure of what to expect. I was pleased to find that I was able to learn concepts that could be applied directly to my own life. Learning to manage conflict is not like learning dates in a history class. Rather, once you understand that conflict is a working process, it is something that is not easily forgotten. In learning that conflict is a process, I found myself applying different strategies from our book to my conflicts with other people. Often, I wished that the people I was experiencing conflict with had taken this same class. In addition to learning how to handle conflicts more appropriately and more effectively, I also learned some basic skills, such as, how to use PowerPoint and how to blog. This was a new experience for me. I am happy that I was able to follow at pace with this class, even though many of these concepts were new to me.

Post Two

2). Summarize what you liked most and what you liked least about this class.  In other words, what were the strengths and weaknesses of this class?  Would you recommend this class to other students?  Why or why not?

As I have mentioned in previous posts, I have taken many online classes in the past. I have learned over the past few years that there is a bit of a learning curve in every online class because every teacher seems to have a slightly different style of teaching over the internet. To be honest, I was a little bit afraid when I found out that we would be “blogging” in this class. The words “Twitter” and “Facebook” are relatively foreign to me and I was not looking forward to this aspect of the class. However, after I got the hang of blogging, I found that it was not very difficult to write in a blog, and was maybe even easier than using the school’s online learning website. I really loved how every week the professor updated her blog to let the class know exactly what to expect. While all of this information was in the syllabus, it was actually very helpful to have the reminder and know for sure, that I wasn’t overlooking some assignment or due date. What I liked least about the class was probably the fact that most of our postings had to be at least twelve hours apart. While I understand the reasoning for this method of instruction, it was also difficult for me at times when I was unable to post. I take online classes because I have a very erratic and sometimes unpredictable schedule and I am out of town frequently. For this reason, I found myself at coffee shops late at night a few times to use their internet for a few minutes, just to satisfy the twelve hour waiting requirement. Overall I would definitely recommend this class to others, because the class is very organized, expectations and requirements are extremely clear, and the professor is helpful, timely, fair, and friendly. For as many online classes as I have taken, I should know, that this is a rare occurrence in an online class.

 

Chapter 16: Post One

1). After reading Chapter 16 in its entirety, answer the following question: Why do you think people have such negative views of conflict?  Do you think that as people know more about conflict, they fear it less?   Why or why not?

I think that our book explores very clearly, the reasons why people have negative views of conflict. I believe that people have negative views of conflict because they have many negative experiences with others when they do not handle conflict properly; we are then conditioned to believe that conflict is always a painful and negative experience. I think that most people don’t view conflict as a process and that there is no way that conflict could have positive benefits to their relationships. I think that as people learn more about conflict, not only do they understand conflict in a different way, but they also fear it less. Viewing conflict as a process can makes conflict appear more approachable and manageable because people have an idea of what steps they can take to resolve their conflicts, and also what strategies they can use to communicate more effectively in their relationships with others. Understanding conflict and knowing how to approach it correctly can improve our relationships, and change our perceptions of conflict for the better.

Chapter Twelve: Post Three

For this post I wanted to discuss overblown conflict. Although I feel that it is a relatively simple concept, I feel that it is a common issue that everyone has experienced at one point or another. I find that I am more prone to exacerbate a conflict when I am tired, hungry, or if I am angry about another related, or unrelated issue. I usually experience overblown conflict with those who are closest to me; often these people are family members. Most likely, this is because I know that these people will always be around and so I have been more careless with my behavior, moods, or attitudes in the past. This is not something that I am proud of, and it happens very rarely. As the book states, overblown conflict often subside when the instigator of the overblown conflict realizes their wrong-doing and apologizes. I find that when I take responsibility for my actions, I am usually easily forgiven by others.

Chapter Twelve: Post Two

I come from a family that is very opinionated and defensive. Most of the people in my family love to be 'right,' and for this reason, can be narrow-minded. I often assume that members of my family act in a certain way for a very selfish reason and I have rationalized the idea that they are just difficult people in general. That being said, I have gotten in trouble many times for attributing different motivations for family members' actions. Although it feels like sometimes people can do or say mean things because they dislike you or are mad at you, often times, these people act out of hurt and the feeling that they need to defend themselves from what feels like attacks from others which can make a conflict situation worse. To help in these types of situations, I try to validate the other person's perspective and assure them that what I am saying to them is rooted in trying to help and understand the situation, rather than as a personal attack. I guess situations in which I have benefited from positive attributions have been simple things, like assuming that someone exercises regularly because they appear to be in good shape. People can take these types of positive attributions as compliments and as recognition of their actions. Another positive attribution that I assumed recently was when I saw a little girl who was very friendly to my daughter in a room where most little girls were 'clicky' and somewhat rude as their mothers had modeled for them. The girl's mother was friendly and sincere, and I assumed that the daughter's behavior was an extension of her mother's positive behavior.

Chapter Ten: Post One

I was genuinely surprised by what I found while researching this question. In searching for forgiveness on Google, 56,000,0000 results were found. This was the first term that I typed into the search engine and I thought that for sure it would yield the most results. It was the term that I could identify with the most, and I could easily rationalize why someone would try to seek out advice about how to forgive another person. The results produced by this term were many sites offering definitions for the term and many self-help and religious-affiliated sites. The second term, reconciliation, yielded only 52,300,000 results which I did not find surprising and most of these were definitions and stories from blogs, videos etc. What I did not expect, was that revenge would produce the most results at 264,000,000. This number is dramatically higher than the others, which I found to be disturbing. Why people would be posting so much more information about revenge, rather than about forgiveness is troubling and it makes me wonder if most peoples' gut reactions cause them to seek a resolution based on anger and aggression rather than compassion and self-healing principles. Most of the sites about revenge were involving definitions, videos, and a television show titled, "Revenge." Given that there are so many reasons people don't forgive one another, I guess that I can understand that forgiveness can be a difficult idea to reconcile; However, I just didn't think that revenge would be a more popular alternative.

Chapter Ten: Post Two

2). After reading Chapter 10 in its entirety, answer the following question:  Is there an event in your life that you find difficult to forgive?  What is it?  What makes it so difficult to forgive the other person?  If you are not experiencing a difficult event now, describe a past event that you have found difficult to forgive.

There are a few events that have occured in my life that I find difficult to forgive. I would argue that the most difficult people to forgive are the ones that we care the most about; the people that we trust unconditionally. For me in my life, these people have been the one's who have remained constants in my life when it seemed that everyone else had failed or betrayed our realtionship in some fashion. In the past few years, I have experienced all three of the people that I trust the most betraying that trust. Two were in relationships, and one was with my mother. I find that all three of these situations are too involved and too personal to discuss in a public blog. However, I can say that I have yet to forgive any of them for the things that they have done, and this is something that I am actively working on.