I do believe that humans
have an instinct for conflict. I am the mother of a three-year-old little girl,
and I have extensive experience in working with very young children and
infants. Even before babies can speak, it is evident that they experience
conflict with others and with the world around them. It seems to me that humans
have an innate instinct to survive and protect what they believe to be in their
best interests. This mentality however, while helpful in preserving ourselves
as individuals, is not always copasetic with other peoples’ wants and needs.
I would also argue that our inherent tendencies
toward conflict do not make us either, more or less human. As it seems, all
creatures experience conflict with one another and it is clear to me that these
inborn behavioral tendencies toward conflict are not isolated only to the human
race. Conflict seemingly exists wherever there is more than one organism
competing to preserve their best interests.
Conflict can be a
valuable, but also, equally destructive asset. When conflict remains unresolved
or results in violence, it is destructive. When conflicting parties are able to
work through their differences by learning how to better communicate with one
another in approaching and hopefully solving their differences, conflict can be
a way to develop better social and problem-solving skills.
Hi Chatterbox,
ReplyDeleteAs a mom as well, I understand what you mean when you you’re describing a little one’s experience with conflict. I was somewhat surprised when I discovered just how early my daughter started having very strong opinions, the energy she could put behind defending them, even or especially without words. I agree with you that it seems to stem from our instinct to survive and protect our best interests; though, when they are very young what they want and what they need are frequently not the same, certainly when it comes to naps and bedtime.
At least for me, this still doesn’t seem to match up with an “instinct for conflict”. To me, that particular phrasing suggests that we would have natural instincts for handling conflict appropriately and productively. I think our instincts stop at our desire to get what we want or need and that effectively managing conflict is almost exclusively a learned skill.
-AnnaBeth
Hi Chatterbox,
ReplyDeleteI loved your insight on conflict and young children! I am not yet a mother, but I nanny two 3-year olds, and another family with a 3-year old and 1-year old. Conflict is definitely present at an early age, and I loved what you said about how we just feel a need to protect and defend what's ours (even if it's a toy!) I agree with you when you talked about how it can become destructive and how we need the skills to cope. We all need to be able to still hold our own, but not tear down our relationships in the process. I definitely think this class will help us do that.
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